


General Confusion

by dahsink



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Hickeys, Ignore that last tag, M/M, Oblivious, Party, Sharing a Bed, Smoking, jared being a wingman, leave me be my beta said it was fine, this is a bit suggestive LMFAO, zoe is also a wingman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahsink/pseuds/dahsink
Summary: 5 times Jared swore he knew what was going on between Connor and Evan, and 1 time he actually did.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 151





	General Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Hope u like this ^^  
> thank you to my lovely beta, yet again!!  
> Comments and kudos warm my heart, but even you just reading my shit makes me happi  
> check me out on tumblr! @/dahsink :)))  
> uhh yeah thats it! Have a good day!!

Jared was sure that something was going on between Evan and Connor. He was pretty sure that thing was sex, but that’s beside the point. They seemed to be unable to look at each other with anything other than sappy, sugary affection, and it makes him sick. Just get on with it, already!

The problem with this is he’s never caught them in the act. It’s always something that could just be passed off as close friends, or at least some serious pining, no actual relationship. So Jared needs evidence. And by god will he get it.

Jared narrows his eyes at the two boys bantering across from him at their lunch table and stabs his fork into his mac and cheese. Zoe raises an eyebrow at him, and he shoots her a smirk. It’s on.

1.

Jared stared at the clock. 9:05, it read, the hands distinctly on the little lines. He had checked his phone; the time was the same. Fifteen whole minutes after the first bell. Ten minutes after the late bell. That meant Evan fucking Hansen was late for school. A smile crept its way across Jared’s face.

Evan was never late. He was always at school right on time, in the seat next to Jared in their morning bio class. Evan cried the last time he had to miss school back when he broke his arm. Never late, always there, without fail, to bug Jared about the homework and pay too much attention to the teacher for nine in the morning. That was the routine. Until.

The teacher hadn’t started class yet, tapping away on the laptop the school had given all the teachers with all the money they didn’t have. Jared was still grinning like a madman, knowing (and blantantly not caring) that the other kids in class were giving him and the empty seat beside him odd looks. He would have gotten pissed off at them, but he was busy running scenarios about what he would say when Evan finally arrived.

But when Evan flew into the classroom, his short light brown hair uncombed and wild, his polo unbuttoned at the top and sloppily tucked into his khakis with no belt, all the words died on Jared’s tongue. He dropped his backpack onto the floor, raked a hand through his hair and huffed.

As he studied his friend, his smile somehow managed to stretch wider, because Evan’s neck was covered in hickeys. It was almost impressive, how the small angry red-purple marks dotted from the space behind his ear and trailed down past the collar of his shirt. Jared opened his mouth once, twice, then finally spoke:

“Nice hickeys, Hansen.” He cackled at Evan, who promptly slammed his head into his desk.

~~~

Jared was whistling, chuckling to himself about what had happened that morning, twirling his car keys around his pointer finger when he caught Connor’s familiar low voice and Evan’s signature stutter leaking into the open window. Their voices were soft, but Jared leaned over and strained his ears to listen.

“You forgot to cover these,” Connor murmured, and Jared smirked, almost feeling Evan’s blush.

“Yeah, I know, I was running super late. Slept in.” He was trying for nonchalant, and Connor laughed in response.

“Sorry about that,” Jared could hear the smile on the taller boy’s face. “Did anyone see?”

“Only Jared, this morning.”

“Oh, well. It’s not like he’s got enough blackmail leverage against you already.” Evan laughed at Connor’s words, obviously flustered. The pair must have moved, because the rest of their conversation was inaudible. Jared sighed and slipped down the stairs, finding them in the parking lot.

“Alright, homos!” Jared yanked the door of his car open. “Let’s go.” He noted that Evan’s face was beet red and he was tugging the collar of his shirt up, as if that would help, and Connor had a smug smile plastered on his face that made Jared kind of want to punch him. Jared didn’t say anything about what he had heard on the way home, his mood souring.

It wasn’t enough. There still wasn’t evidence.

2.

Jared laid back on a plastic lawn chair on the Murphy’s balcony, vision swimming slightly. He was watching the stars, or trying to, over the sound of Zoe throwing up down the hall. Poor girl was such a lightweight. Connor was leant idly on the railing, fingers thrumming on white wood, somehow seeming to have sobered up mostly in the cold air. Fucking polar opposite siblings.

“Dude, come on, I have a cig if you want.” Jared reached into his pocket, clumsily pulling out a pack of squished cigarettes and thrusting them at Connor, who shook his head and produced a much neater packet.

“I’ve got my own. And you get the cheap ones.” Connor tapped on the pack until a cigarette fell into his open palm, quickly shoving the pack into his pocket and grabbing the pink cheetah-print lighter Jared bought him for his birthday. He lit it, bringing it to his lips gracefully and taking a long drag before inhaling into the air in one smooth stream. Jared snorted.

“What’s your boyfriend going to say about this?” Jared slurred, as Connor rolled his eyes. He took another drag, grimacing to himself.

“Evan’s helping Zoe. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He glanced at Jared, who raised a dark eyebrow at him.

“I never said... that I was talking about Evan.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Connor sighed heavily and tipped his head down. “He’s not- I just thought- but, God, I know. He’ll be pissed, but I’m trying. I was clean for a week before this.” Jared nodded thoughtfully, at least as thoughtfully as he could muster while drunk.

“It’s your funeral, man, but it seems like Zoe has stopped puking her guts up.” Jared craned his neck to look down the hall, seeing Evan hurrying down to the patio. He opened the sliding door, glancing at Jared before clearing his throat loudly. Connor tried to breathe out the smoke in his lungs as discreetly as possible, his back turned to Evan. The shorter boy grabbed the still glowing cigarette from his hand and put it out on the railing, the damp wood smoking as it went out.

“Hey!” Connor yelped, before Evan put up his finger to silence him.

“You said you’d quit!” He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow as Connor huffed.

“I was clean a week before this. I was going to pick up nicotine patches after school, but then we made plans.” Connor bartered, Evan’s angry expression cracking a bit. He sighed.

“I’m glad you were clean! But you got to like-” He waved his hand in the air to search for words. “Fight the temptations! I know it’s hard.” Evan’s eyes softened, trying to comfort Connor, who raked a hand through his hair.

“I know, I’m really sorry Ev.” He pulled the pack of cigs out of his pocket and held it out to Evan. “Here, you can take them. I don’t have any more.” He scratched at the back of his neck and Evan took the pack gingerly.

“T-Thanks!” The tips of Evan’s ears turned a light pink. “I’m uh- I'm proud of you.” he said, hands closing over Connors. Connor smiled, ducking his head down.

“Thanks,” He murmured, and almost at the same time they seemed to notice that Jared was still sitting there. He grinned at them over the rims of his glasses.

“Very cute, very cute! Couple goals.” Jared snickered and silenced Evan’s protests with a languid wave of his hand. “And Evan, I can take those cigs off your hands-”

“Why don’t you go check on Zoe?” Connor snapped, and Jared threw his arms in the air.

“Alright, alright,” He grumbled, standing up and stumbling down the hall. “ZOE!!” He called, hearing a small ‘Oh god,’ In response. Jared smiled to himself, the evidence-of-Evan-and-Connor's-gayness folder slowly (but surely) growing in his mind.

3.

(1) New Message from: Hoey

Jared groaned and grabbed his phone from his bed, chuckling at Zoe’s contact name as he always does. Never gets old, even though his name in her phone is Kleinbad.

5:34 PM

Hoey: come over

Kleinbad: srry :’( ik im irresistible but I cant do that 2 alana …

Hoey: omfg I hate you

Hoey: it’s abt connor and evan

Kleinbad: wait whats going on

Hoey: I'll explain when you come over

Hoey: use the back door and BE QUIET I stg

Kleinbad: still not convinced this isnt u trying 2 get into my pants but k

Seen by Hoey

He clicked off his phone and shrugged on his coat, checking his hair in the mirror just in case. It was only a ten-minute walk to the Murphy’s, so he strode out his front door, quickly locking it and humming as he walked down the sidewalk.

When he had reached the Murphy’s, he remembered Zoe warning him to use the back door, so he looped around into the backyard, and was closing the gate when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

“What-?” Jared whirled around to face Zoe, her brown hair tucked into a ponytail and eyes wild, who quickly shushed him.

“Okay, I’ll show you what’s going on, but you cannot tell anyone, and you have to be silent. Got it?!” Jared’s eyebrows knit together, Zoe having grabbed his wrist and staring at him intensely.

“Yeah, sure?” He ventured, and she grinned, tugging him inside and down the hallway, throwing a hand up to stop them. The pair were right by the kitchen, obscured by a wall.

“Okay,” Zoe breathed. “Take a look.” Jared raised an eyebrow and leaned around the corner to peek into the kitchen.

He saw Connor and Evan. Evan was cooking dinner, stirring at a pot of pasta and humming along to the notes of a song that was playing from the radio on the windowsill. He wore an apron, and his hair was all messed up and his face flushed. Connor was sitting on the kitchen island behind him, his arms laced around Evan’s waist and chin propped up on Evan’s head, watching him cook with basically heart eyes.

“Wha-?” He started to say, before she yanked him back roughly.

“Shut up!” She hissed and grinned at his incredulous expression. “I know, right?! They’ve been like that for the last, like, hour. They don’t know I’m here. They are totally in love!” Zoe rambled, Jared’s mouth hanging agape.

“I-” Jared wiped his face, starting to smile. “This is amazing. They are such BOYFRIENDS-”

“SHHH! Shut the fuck up!” Zoe hissed again, leaning over to make sure they didn’t hear anything, but the two boys were so wrapped up in each other, Connor chuckling at Evan who was trying desperately to reach the top shelf, before Connor pushed off the island and grabbed the pasta sauce for him.

“Have- did they kiss? Do we have like, actual proof yet?”

“No, nothing like that.” she shook her head. “But they were dancing earlier?”

“Like, slow dancing?!” Jared clapped his hand over his mouth.

“Yeah,” she breathed, “Pretty much.”

They sat there in the hallway for hours, watching the two boys interacting. Jared whined about how grossly cute they were, Zoe just smiling and murmuring about how they were good for each other. Jared finally left when they started talking about eating in Connor’s room, and to get there they’d have to walk past where Zoe and Jared where hiding, so Jared darted out the door and Zoe scrambled up the stairs to lock herself into her room.

4.

Jared stumbled through the living room, Alana clutching his arm in a death grip and trying to lead him to the kitchen for some water.

“Lana...” Jared snickered to himself, eyes half closed and mouth agape.

“Jared, you are drunk as fuck, I’m getting you water.” She kept pulling him along, dumping him at the kitchen table before searching the cabinets for a glass, filling it up with cold water and passing it to the drunk boy. He grabbed it, only spilling a bit as he drank sloppily from the glass.

“Thanks!” Jared announced chipperly, slamming the glass down after chugging the water. Alana rolled her eyes.

“No problem,” She turned to greet Zoe, who was giggling in the doorway. Jared had dragged them, and Evan and Connor to a popular kid’s party, because even if he didn’t want to admit it, he’d hate going alone. The living room was packed, and a much-too-loud song pounded through the house. There were people yelling stuff that Jared couldn’t make out, but it probably wasn’t important anyway. The tables were packed with alcohol, which Zoe, Jared and Connor had jumped at the opportunity for.

Jared stood and swayed slightly, Alana rushing to steady him, but he waved her off.

“I’m fine!” He shouted over the music. “I’m gonna find... Evan! And Connor maybe.” Zoe was still laughing, and Alana wasn’t looking at him anymore, so he took it as an A-Okay to go find them. Jared grabbed onto the wall and shouldered his way through the crowd, gagging on the smell of sweat in the air. Someone spilled something on him, but he couldn’t see who it was and just cursed out the person nearest to him. They just laughed and went back to dancing, so he continued his quest. Eventually he spotted a mop of brown hair and let out a small cheer of “Connor!” Before rushing in the general direction of the boy.

“Connor?” He asked, pushing out of the crowd and revealing a very red, very spaced out Evan. “Evan?!” Jared squinted at him, before Evan seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

“Uh-” His solo cup was crinkling; he was holding it too tight. “Hey?”

“Where’s uh... what’s his name. Your boyfriend.” Jared slurred, leaning on the wall next to Evan.

“Connor? He’s not my boyfriend. And uh-” Evan coughed into his fist. “I haven’t seen him since we showed up.”

“...Really? I thought I saw him over here, I saw his greasy hair and I-” Jared started, counting on his fingers, but he slapped his hand down.

“I haven’t seen him!” Evan snapped, and faltered at Jared’s shocked expression. “I have to go to the washroom,” He blurted, and hurried off towards the door that Jared assumed was the bathroom, light leaking out from under the door. He watched as Evan barely opened the door, looked around then slipped inside. Jared stood there for a while, meaning to wait until Evan came back, but after a couple minutes he got bored and went back into the kitchen to bother Alana and Zoe.

Eventually, Alana finally asked: “Did you end up finding Evan and Connor?” To which Jared sloppily snapped his fingers.

“I did-” He clutched Zoe’s chair for support. “But Evan was all weird and went-” he pointed to the bathroom door, where the light was still on inside. “To the- hic! -bathroom.” Zoe hummed.

“Anyone seen Connor?” Alana said, a crease forming between her eyebrows in worry.

“I saw ‘im... with Evan.” Zoe slurred.

“How long ago?”

“Uhhh... an hour ago? Don’t know.” She giggled. Alana glared at them and leant back on the counter.

“Jared, why don’t you go check up on Evan?” Jared nodded, before stumbling his way to the door and knocking on it loudly. There was a small squeak of surprise from inside, before someone stuttered out:

“Uh- o-occupied?”

Jared squinted, feeling like he knew the voice from... somewhere. “OH! Evan?!”

“Um-” There was a shuffling sound before Evan spoke up again, his voice breathy and higher than normal. “Yeah, it’s m-me.”

“Buddy, you okay in there? Alana’s all worried ‘n shit.” Jared leaned his head against the door, listening for his reply.

“Oh- fuck- yeah t-totally!” His voice cracked, and Evan quickly cleared his throat. “Yeah totally, I’m- oh god- good! S-so good.” Jared raised an eyebrow but nodded slowly.

“Okay, if you think your fine. Uh, when you’re... done, we’re in the kitchen. Alana’s driving.” There was a small whine from inside the bathroom, and Evan cleared his throat again.

“Yeah! Sure! Bye!” He squeaked and Jared pushed off the wall to update Zoe and Alana.

“He says- hic! -he’s fine.” Alana quirked an eyebrow.

“Says?”

“Yeah, says. It kinda sounds like he’s... in pain or something... let’s just wait for him.” Alana’s concerns were forgotten as Zoe borderline passed out, her head resting on the table.

~~~

A couple minutes later, Evan slipped out of the bathroom and went to join them in the kitchen.

“H-hey guys!” Evan stammered, and Jared noted his shirt was on backwards. Alana passed him a glass of water. “What’s this?”

“I don’t know how much you drank, but you should stay hydrated. You okay? You and Connor sort of ditched.” Just then, Connor slid into the room, his hair mussed and tangled, his face an almost identical red as Evan’s.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that,” He said, casual as ever. “Ev was kinda panicking, we were chilling in the bathroom for most of the party.” Connor smiled widely, clapping Evan’s shoulder and making him stumble.

“Y-yeah! Sorry.” Evan righted himself, taking a cautious sip of the water.

“Why didn’t you say anything?! I was so-” Alana stopped when she saw Evan wince. “Shit, sorry Ev, I’m just glad you’re safe, and not totally wasted.” She gestured to Zoe, who was babbling to Jared about how her head hurts and what drinks she liked best, and which ones made her want to ‘Vom’ in her words.

“Hey, wait Connor-” Jared pointed his finger in Connor’s face. “If you were in the- hic! -bathroom, why didn’t you say anything when I was calling for Evan?” He cleared his throat, fighting back a smile. Sure, he was wasted, but it didn’t mean he lost all perception. Evan choked on his water and immediately became much more enraptured in his conversation with Alana.

“I was... preoccupied.” Jared opened his mouth to respond, but Connor cut him off. “Should we go?”

5.

The Murphy’s, Jared’s moms and Heidi had all planned a road trip to go on, for the sake of bonding as parents to get used to their children being friends. They were leaving for the trip at five in the morning, so instead of wasting time picking everyone up in the morning, they were all going to sleep at the Murphy’s.

Heidi was throwing pillows on the couch, explaining the plan for what must be the hundredth time that night.

“So! Jared and Evan will sleep in the living room, Mrs. and Mrs. Kleinman will share the guest bedroom, and I’ll take the other guest room, and of course the Murphy’s will sleep in their regular rooms!” She smiled, turning to Jared and Evan who were awkwardly standing in the doorway, Connor leaning on the wall behind them.

“Sounds good, mom.” Evan said after a beat of silence, Jared just nodding quickly.

“Now you boys don’t stay up too late!” She pinched Evan’s cheek and he smiled with a tightly closed mouth. “Got an alarm set?”

“Multiple, mom, we’ll be fine.”

“And you, Connor, any alarms?”

Connor smiled at her, and Hedi melts. She loved Connor so much, she thought he was so charming. Must run in the family, Jared thought.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got one. And if I’m not up in time, I trust Ev will wake me up.” Heidi beamed at him, finally retiring up to her room yelling that she loved the three of them as she climbed the stairs.

“Love you too, mom.” Evan grumbled, flopping onto his air mattress. Connor laughed at him, running a hand through his hair.

“Alright boys, don’t stay up too late,” He said in a high-pitched voice, and Jared scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah, just go. We have to wake up super fucking early, so leave.”

Evan laughed from where he was on the mattress. “When did you become my mom, Jared?”

“Goodnight!” He said and flicked off the light.

~~~

Jared opened his eyes, squinting in the morning light. “Shit.” He rolled over and grabbed his phone, checking the time. 4:15 AM. 15 minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off.

“Fuuuck.” He groaned, wiping his face with his hands and pushing the covers off himself and sitting up.

“Goodmorning, Evan-” He yawned, looking down from his spot on the couch to an empty air mattress. “Wha-?” He scanned the room, before his eyes landed on the mattress again. Still empty. It barely looked like it had been slept in, the sheets only a slightly different than they’d been when they’d gone to sleep. Evan’s phone was gone too, but luggage still where he had left it the night before, but without his bag of toiletries and his meds. Odd.

He stood up, stretching out and moving to pad up the stairs, slipping his glasses on after cleaning them on the end of his shirt. First, Jared checked the washroom, but it was empty. Maybe Connor might knowwhere he’s gone off to? He crossed the hall, and in a moment of sleep deprivation and stupidity, opened Connor’s door without knocking.

“Hey, Connor, do you know where Ev-?” He stopped talking when he finally looked at Connor’s bed, seeing the two boys tangled together under the blankets. Connor groaned.

“What the fuck do you want,” he wiped his eyes, the arm that was around Evan’s waist tugging him closer to his chest. Evan moved in his sleep, but just tightened the grip of his arms that were thrown around Connor’s neck, and shifted his head closer to the space between Connor’s neck and shoulder.

“I just, uh, couldn’t find Evan.” Jared blurted, still standing like a deer in headlights in the doorway.

“So you barge into my room at-” Connor checked his phone. “4:22 AM?! Fuck you!”

Jared seemed to come to his senses. “Oh yeah, sorry. I’ll leave you and your boyfriend to sleep in, it’s not like he totally snuck into your room while I was sleeping.” He scoffed, expecting Connor to shoot a remark back at him, but he just shut his phone off and closed his eyes.

“Thank you.” He muttered, seemed to fall back to sleep instantly. Jared opened his mouth and closed it a couple times, before resigning to just close the door and leave them alone.

And when everyone else woke up, and Evan said he wasn’t in his bed because he was in the washroom, Jared and Connor shared a silent look.

+1

(2) New Messages From: TreeFucker

“Why the fuck is Evan texting me?” Jared mused aloud, opening his phone.

11:54 PM

TreeFucker: Hey, Jared.

TreeFucker: Can you please pick me up from Connor’s?

Jared K: awh did yall have a fight D:

Jared K: so sad. I’ll come get u

TreeFucker: No! I just don’t want to walk home in the dark. Thank you.

Jared K: be there in 5 B)

Seen by TreeFucker

Jared grabbed his keys and walked out to the garage after yelling to his moms that he was headed out. He started it up and backed up out of the driveway, quickly pulling up to Connor’s house and seeing Evan standing in the doorway. Him and Connor took their time saying goodbye until Jared honked the horn loudly and Evan scrambled down the walkway and into the passenger side of the car.

“Hey! Thanks for picking me up.” Evan breathed out, a rosy tint on his face.

“Why didn’t you just sleep over? Is Con not into your tree sex games anymore?” Jared laughed as he turned onto the street.

“Shut it. And it’s because my mom wants me at home more.”

“Oh yeah? Poor you, Mommy won’t let you see your Daddy anymore!”

“Daddy?! God, I hate you.” Evan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jared snickered. “You’re so pissy. Christ, you two really are the definition of homo. Can’t be apart for two minutes.” Evan stayed silent, biting his bottom lip.

“I’m just teasing. Can’t take a little friendly teasing? Bet it’s cause you’re so used to getting all fawned over by Murphy. Ohhhh babeeee,” Jared turned again, barely looking because he knew the way to Evan’s house so well. “You always give him all your food at school, and he doesn’t even ask! I ask and you don’t give them to me. Lucky bastard, your mom always gets the good shit and you don’t appreciate them enough. Yeah, you never leave his side-”

“Yeah, jackass, it’s because I love him!” Evan blurted, whirling to the side to face Jared, who choked and swerved to pull over.

“You LOVE HIM?!” Jared squeaked, clutching the wheel in a white-knuckled grip. Evan seemed to falter.

“U-uh-” he swallowed thickly. “Yes. Yes I do.” Jared blanked.

“Well I didn’t expect you to SAY IT!” He slammed his hand on the wheel, the horn beeping weakly. “I was GATHERING EVIDENCE! I had a powerpoint! Do you want to see my powerpoint?! I have it on my phone-”

“I don’t want to see your FUCKING POWERPOINT!” Evan snapped, and Jared paused in his pursuit for his phone. “Ugh! I...” Evan slumped back in the car seat.

“We’ve been dating for a couple months.” He said softly, and Jared copied him in slumping back.

“How did I not know?! Why didn’t you tell me?! We’re frie- family friends!” Jared clarified, and Evan laughed.

“I know. I’m sorry but-” Evan waved his hand. “You teased us that much when we weren’t official, so I could only imagine what it would be like when I told you.”

“Oh my god you’re stupid-”

“Not the time-”

“I’ve been rooting for you guys from day one! If you told me I would have been your total wingman!” Jared explained, at Evan’s confused expression.

“Your version of being supportive is calling us gay when we look at each other?!”

“Uh! Yeah?! You gotta remind people about your homo-activities!”

Evan sighed, before he started to laugh, a breathy laugh of relief.

“Your right. I should have told you sooner. Sorry.”

“Don’t be! But uh...” Jared pulled away from where they had been idling beside the sidewalk. “Is he... nice?”

Evan was still laughing. “Yeah, he’s nice.”


End file.
